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Thirteen Lies About Why I Haven't Been Blogging(the truth is, there *isn't* any really good reason. I thought that some lies would be more entertaining)
13.
TOO BUSY. Good excuse right? Not true though. I was really busy for about two weeks on a home project and have been expending a lot of energy ever since to avoid doing all the clean-up stuff that needs to be done. Since this involves playing a lot of Sudoku on my iPhone, maybe it's not a total lie. Sudoku is definitely taking away from the blogging time.
12.
TOOK UP RUNNING; I'm so hooked on this. I mean, it feels SOO good. The endorphins! I do it all the time and....
*oh I can't do this* HAHA HAHOHOHEE HEEHEEHEE!!!
*wipes tears* HAHAHO
*eats some fudge*11.
KIDS ARE SICK. Ooo, that would be a great one. Selfless, even.
*checks foreheads all around* ... sigh. Nope. Not that either.
10.
HOOKED ON "GLEE". Plausible. But no.
9.
MY COMPUTER BROKE. Or maybe the internet was down? Something like that.
8.
A GLITCH in the time-space continuum. I was doing some time-travel research and when I got back, I'd skipped like two months of blogging.
7.
MYSTERIOUS POWERS. Recently, I discovered that I am descended from a supernatural race and have, um, some kind of superpowers that were activated when I,
uh, hmmm, still working out those details... maybe there was a comet?... Anyway, I've been busy learning katana-fu and getting ready to save the world from Certain Destruction. Also, looking for a shade of red haircolor that really works for me.
6.
BITTEN BY A VAMPIRE. One of the good, sexy ones; not a horrible one.
5.
KIDNAPPED BY A GREEK BILLIONAIRE. As soon as I find a way to access email on Dmitri's complicated laptopper thingy and get myself rescued, I'll tell you all about it.
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4.
CONFRONTED BY SECRET BABY. So, I know it sounds a little implausible, but as it turns out, unbeknownst to me, some of my eggs were harvested back in the 80's when I was
passed out at a frat party *scratch* in the hospital
with mono *scratch* getting my tonsils out; then combined with genetic material from David Hasslehoff, and the result is this very bitter person who was apparently raised by evil scientists. It's been a headache. (
What? it could happen. Ask Erika Kane).
3.
ARRANGED MARRIAGE. Turns out my marriage of 12 years is a fraud, as my
real parents legally married me by proxy to a Duke of the Realm when I was just a baby. Tragically, they were killed in an anachronistic carriage accident some few days later and loyal but misguided servants gave me to some kind, hardworking Midwesterners to raise-- to protect me in obscurity. Paperwork and DNA tests have only recently come to light. The Duke is pretty cute, but has some
issues (don't they all??).
2.
INHERITED $47.3 BILLION from a Nigerian princess. She was such sweetheart; so sad about the cancer of the amaryllis (apparently it's very painful). Not a great speller though. The paperwork has been a bitch but the funds should come through any day now.
and the number one lie........
NO GOOD BOOKS TO READ.
Seriously, I've been reading my head off, and it's been some great, great stuff. Devon Monk, Kelley Armstrong, Vicki Pettersson, Melanie Rawn, Susan Mallery, Kristan Higgins, Jo Bourne, a bunch of new authors. Gonna really, really try to get some reviews up for you.
...I won't even wait for the Nigerian funds to clear.
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